In Which I Am PROBABLY Not a Robot

In the comments of this blog and on the blogs of others, there has been speculation that I am a robot. Today, I am here to say that . . . I am probably not a robot.

Now, I have watched Battlestar Galactica so I know that no one can really be sure she's not a robot. Not even people who you have been watching for multiple seasons and it wouldn't even make SENSE if they turned out to be robots, can turn out to be robots.

So I'm not going to make any guarantees.

But here is some stuff I am bad at doing, that will hopefully convince you that I am human . . .


I am bad at gardening. BAD. I am bad at plants of all kinds. (And also at goldfish.)

I seem to be pretty good at keeping children fed and watered and making sure they get some sunlight. But plants pretty much shrivel up and die at the sight of me.

I desperately want to be a person who can grow her own food (for health, and economy, and zombie apocalypses). Every year I have grand plans of growing things. But I also just have no interest whatsoever in looking after those things once they are planted.

Fortunately for me, the husband has taken it upon himself to try to grow some food. He's doing pretty well so far with tomatoes and various lettuces. And we have fruit trees that seem to just grow fruit no matter what I do or don't do to them. So I do have something to can.

The Dishes

I like to cook, but I am not very good at doing the dishes. My unofficial motto is: It's Probably Going to Be Fine. Mostly it serves me well. But when "it" is cheese or oatmeal and you put "it" in my dishwasher . . . it's not going to be fine. It never is. But I kinda keep doing it anyway.

My kids are now old enough to do the dishes. Which is good for all of us. The husband is training them up to do it right. The way HE would do it.

Tying Shoelaces

The husband is also in charge of teaching the kids to tie their shoelaces, because I do that wrong as well. My bows always turn out vertical.

In looking for the above image, I discovered that there is an entire blog devoted to shoelaces and on that blog is a very detailed explanation of what I am doing wrong and how to fix it. It even has a name: a Granny Knot. Now I'm feeling kind of attached to it.

Probably, I'm just going to keep doing it wrong.

Writing Things Down

I'm not good at keeping up with things like To Do lists and meal planning and calendars. Instead, I tend to have a running list in my head of things I need to do, on repeat, like this:

Loaf of Bread, a container of milk, and a stick of butter

So, all day long, I'll be thinking: write post for Sunday, reply to two emails and one Facebook message, call pediatrician, thaw chicken, start beans, need to use up spinach, dentist this morning, basketball tonight.

It mostly works, except when it doesn't. Because sometimes in the middle of making a spinach salad I would sit down to answer the emails and realize that basketball practice starts in five minutes and we had missed the dentist and I wasn't going to get to that phone call. Again.

It was happening too often. So I've been really making an effort to actually use my calendar. The reminders on my iPad are great. And I have every intention of keeping up with some meal planning with my new planner.

We'll see.


Remember that Office episode where Michael Scott drives his car into a lake because the GPS tells him to?

The Office - Michael Drives Car into lake

Yeah. That's totally me.

I am unreasonably dependant on the GPS. I'm just missing that part of the brain that would tell a person which way North is or how to get to the 101.

It's odd considering I used to be a pilot, and I navigated just fine in the air back before there was GPS and we had to fly uphill both ways to get to school . . .

Phone Calls

I am bad at phone calls. I'm bad at making them. I'm bad at receiving them.

I often respond immediately and with great detail to emails I receive, but will let the message light flash for weeks before I push play on the answering machine.

I turn the ringer off on my phone before Mass and don't remember to turn it back on until about Wednesday.

If it weren't for my navigation issues (see above) I don't know if I'd even have a cell phone. But as it is, I need to be able to call my husband during business meetings to tell him that the GPS is trying to make me go on the 5 again. Or into a lake.


Not gonna lie. Not good at it. But it's okay. It's definitely the thing I'm most grateful for being a failure at.

I mean, look at these guys!

Q: Are these all YOUR kids?
A: All these kids are mine, but these are not all my kids.

Okay, I just read over these. Annnnd . . . I'm thinking you guys are probably right after all. Oh well. Execute Protocol Q47g (beep).

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

And now for some other stuff:

If you'd like a chance to win a copy of my soon-to-be-released book, as well as over $300 in other prizes (including Amazon gift cards!) head on over to Equipping Catholic Families. I'm helping Monica host the big 2nd birthday giveaway for Catholic Bloggers Network! There are new chances to win every day!


Be sure to check back in on the Toothpaste Jesus Miracle Link-Up! The link-up is open through February 17th, so write up your miracles and share them with the world. There are new stories to read over there everyday!


AND this blog was nominated for multiple Sheenazing Awards over at A Knotted Life. I'm honored. Thank you! Voting is now open . . .

yes, it is.