You Asked for It: an Interview With Yours Truly

As you may recall, I recently did a series of interviews with the members of my family. In the comments, some of you requested that I let one of them interview ME. And, even though I kind of already interview myself (and all of you) every Sunday . . . I figured, why not? So, the husband was kind enough to play the part of interviewer.

You already mentioned the failed "Kenny" nickname in a blog post, but you've been noticeably silent about the name "Mink".
That's true, I have.

What do you want to say about that?
That I want to say? Um, not much. But, here goes: "Mink" was a name I used in high school to subscribe to magazines, mail-order CDs, and free makeup samples when I had already subscribed to those things under my real name. I had actually kind of forgotten about that.

I hadn't.

It was never meant for anyone to call me that. Out loud.

What was the origin of the name?
I don't know. I think I thought it sounded like a secret agent or someone mysterious who might listen to cool CDs and wear multi-colored eye shadow while flipping through fashion magazines.

What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?
If by "watch" you mean "have on in the background while I sew or embroider or write blog posts" I would have to say football, but I do also have a fondness for World's Strongest Man and what are those Lumberjack Shows called? The lumberjack shows. I like those. And I have recently discovered hockey on TV and I like that too. All the backwards skating is very impressive.

You like World's Strongest Man on TV? When have you watched it?
We used to watch it as newlyweds. We don't watch it now, but I have a fondness for it. Don't you remember all the Magnuses?

I remember most of them.

What is your favorite flavor of pudding?
I don't ever eat pudding. I'm trying to imagine being at a hospital and having to select a pudding. I guess butterscotch. That sounds like an okay pudding flavor, but I don't think people with teeth need to eat pudding.

What actress would play you in the movie about you?
Okay, um... I don't know, do you think I'm quirky enough to get Zoe Deschanel to play me? Or what's the girl's name from Les Mis? (iPad search) Maybe Anne Hathaway?

I don't know who Zoe whatserface is, so I don't know if you're quirky enough for her to play you.
Do you want to see a picture? She's got bangs, so maybe Anne Hathaway.

What do I do all day?
Ho-hoooo. Alright, so you are a boss. You boss people around for a living. But you have to do it pleasantly because unlike my charges, you can't put yours in timeout.

Anything else?
You seem to have a lot of conference calls and you drive around in the carpool lane in your electric car and have a lot of mandatory fun activities like going to the movies and rock climbing. So mostly talking on the phone, rock climbing, and bossing people around. Is that right at all?

I'm asking the questions. Do you think they pay people to do those things?
I think they pay YOU to do those things. Oh, and you take doctors to fancy lunches and you have to have dessert so they won't be offended and you have to play that video game with the parrot that makes sure you follow compliance rules.

All day?
I don't know, some of the day. Seems like that parrot is kind of in charge of the whole company from what I can tell.

So you think the parrot is my boss?
Mm-hmm. Well not your boss, but your boss's boss.

What time do you go to bed at night?
Do you really not know?

Not any more.
I usually go to bed between midnight and 3am.

That's a big window.
It just depends on how productive I'm being. Those loquats aren't going to jam themselves.


You really like the movie "Joe vs. the Volcano," which many experts find unwatchable. Why?
I guess the reason I like it is that I watched it a lot of times in high school and decided I liked it. But what's special about Joe vs. the Volcano is that it really shows Meg Ryan's range as an actress plus it introduces the concept of a "brain cloud". Um . . . the soundtrack is really good. It's an all-star cast.

It teaches the power of a positive attitude, self-sacrificing love, and really good luggage.

So you like the movie because "it really shows Meg Ryan's range as an actress plus it introduces the concept of a brain cloud?" That's why you like it?
She plays three different parts. And one is a brunette. It must have been quite a stretch.

Is that the high school you talking?
I can't think of the last time I saw it.

It was probably when we were engaged and you made me watch it.
Did you like it?

It's just chock-full of Oscar-winning actors.

How good was your judgment in high school?
Oh, it was notoriously poor. In high school I supported things like perms and New Kids on the Block.

You supported perms?
I had them.

Is that different than supporting them? Did you encourage others to get them?
I don't remember encouraging other people to get them. No wait, that's not true. I actually gave my sister an Ogilvie home perm. Somehow I did not burn all of her hair off. It's a miracle.

Stirrup pants. I supported those.

What do you think of the term "blogress?"

I am not familiar with it. Did you just make it up? I have seen "the bloggess". She's a big-time blogger, and she's funny but she swears, so I don't usually read her blog.

I've seen it used as a term for a woman who blogs.

I haven't seen that, but it makes me think of "duress" and "egress".

Okay that's helpful.

I think I'll stick with "blogger," Like those actresses who insist upon being called "actors" so we can tell how serious they are. This is my craft. Blogging.

What's something embarrassing that happened to you recently?

Oh, I know one. On the flight from LA to Toronto, the flight attendant was going by with the trash bag, and she passed me, and I had something to throw away, but she walked right by. I said, "Excuse me" and reached out. But she didn't come back, or even look at me, she just held out her hand for the trash, and I reflexively handed her my item. But that item was a diaper. She was horrified. Extremely horrified. Like muttering to other passengers about it horrified. I hadn't really thought about it because I handle diapers a lot. But I probably shouldn't have handed her the diaper.

I was there. If you don't want people to put trash in your hand, you shouldn't put your hand out when you go by collecting trash.

Thank you. That's very supportive.

What about you would surprise your readers?

I don't know. I feel like I'm pretty open on the blog. Maybe the fact that I'm naturally pretty messy. I was a really, really messy kid and young adult. My living room is pretty messy right now. I may give off a "tidy living room" vibe, but . . . the dining room is kind of messy, too. And the kitchen. I should probably get on that. Do you think there's something about me that would surprise my readers?

I was thinking of the clothes-piling-in-your-closet behavior, but that's kind of like the messy living room.

Hey, clean and dirty piles is a valid system. I'm not naturally tidy, I just have systems for everything. I think I'm organized but messy.

Is that possible?

Yes. You're looking at it.